Tuesday, July 12

So much for skatin through week 4...

Well kids, I hate to drop the anvil in the middle of the party but so it goes. Grandpa Silvera died yesterday. I got the call from mom last night, and as expected, Silveras across the country are rattled and answering our own version of the "clarion call" home. After a long set of talks with mom, I've decided not to go to the service -- which will be next week--for many reasons, all of which I don't really have the heart to get into right now. Not the least of which is the freight train called Clarion, that is speeding steadily along toward our July disembarking at which point the whole magical experience will be over and done with...

Suffice it to say the largest part of my decision was this, as mom said (and we all know mom always knows best), "he would have wanted you to finish."

I hear ya mom. I hear ya. Doesn't make my heart hurt any less to be away from you all right now.

Call it a compromise. I can't keep motoring on as is, but I'm determined to stay the course: so I'm calling this the "FOURTH WEEK FROM HELL" and giving myself the next couple of days to just freefall. This will be my last post for a bit. I'm headed a few hours east. T knows I'm comin and will give me as much of his time as he can. I'll say my good bye to Silvera my own way, as best I can, and then come back here to Seattle, to finish what I started, because he would have wanted that.

Apologies to the greatest Clarion West class ever, I know I've been a ghost the last 24 hours, but if you keep a spot for me and the light on, I'll be back, I promise. Apologies also to Connie Willis, I am going to miss your guidance on plot -- looks like other things are just getting in the way right now. Thanks for being our fourth week mamma hen -- just when we needed it.

As for the rest of you cats, see ya when I see ya. Much love.

Eddie.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pleased that you're staying, and feeling terrible for you. Let us know if ther'es anything we can do for you. Thoughts are with you.

7/12/2005 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy: it's a tough call, and there's probably no right answer, but for what its worth, I think you're doing the right thing.

Now, the big question -- can you set aside the enormity of your feelings and emotions while you buckle down and work? Writing itself is about integrating your own experience into stories; but learning, experimenting, these are orthogonal things and the distraction of deep feelings...

Well, Eddie, I'm sure everyone who's reading your blog is thinking good stuff in your direction. Hope you feel some of it. Hope it helps.

7/12/2005 6:10 PM  

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