Post Critique Report

In short, I survived.

At length:

Well, I was prepared for arrows and rotten tomatoes. What I got was a lot of praise for the concept (which is the dearest part of the story to my own heart) and some really good input, reaction and advice for where to go next. I am constantly amazed by my fellow Clarionites -- generous, forgiving and very smart readers/writers. Every single one of them came up with something that will shape Small Strange Town (the title was a winner, apparently) in rewrite -- to its improvement, no matter how small.

I am immensely grateful for the input -- even if some of it contradicted others, and everyone missed at least one thing I WANTED them to notice (a big clue for me more than anything), and everyone commented on the crappy formatting and lack of page numbers (sorry guys)

This story has been rolling around in my head for some time now, building momentum.
First it was a retelling of the Psyche and Eros Myth, with Ben as Psyche and Strange +inhabitants as Eros. Then it was was this kind of Steinbeck-esqe ode to the dying small California town. Then it was a horror piece. Once it became this smarmy romance (I was single at the time) and finally it just sat, like someone had purchased the options to make a movie and never went thru with it. Somehow the timing was never right.

It just happened to be the first thing I reached for when I stumbled into this 24 hour story thing. Indeed, I decided when I turned it in to kinkos -- late -- that it was a bit ambitious considering my outline to this short story was two full pages of 10 characters, 5 POVs and trying to tease out the town's BIG SECRET.

(Word to the WISE: don't be late submitting to Kinkos, the Admin will not be happy. They will be nice to you, but not happy.)

Lets face it, I bit off more than I could chew. SO I cheated. I went the easy route with Ben and Mara -- I made them a writer and a horsewoman -- which some might find self indulgent but was really away for me to create to realistic people based on careers I knew, rather than having to do research. I also made it a town like the many I drive by on my way to and from Sacramento. I squashed characters, made Manny 1stperson and "told on" the town secret early... The story has 3 POV's -- Ben (the outsider), Mara (the horsetrainer and town matriarch of sorts) and Manny (Her adopted 8 year old son)

So technically its not a romance. Ben and Mara don't wind up riding across the browned out California central valley hills. Although they do, shall we say --consummate-- a mutual attraction born out of initial suspicion.

This was my first major pitfall -- cause it was about 5 am when I got to this point in the story so I was rushed AND tired. I knew this was going to get some ire. Which it did, and taught me the importance of not doing that when I actually have the time to be better. Also, at the end I descended into telling the rest of the story, rather than showing it. Okay I knew that was gonna happen, and I got some superb ideas on how to SHOW this.

OKAY so what you will undoubtedly think is the most important part -- WHAT DID OCTAVIA SAY?

I honestly thought she might give it the big axe. Its nothing like SHE writes. Silly me. She actually had some great things to say about concept and characters. I do really love Ben, Mara, Manny, Martinez and the rest. The best part was when she indicated that usually multiple POV's in a short story is tricky but "Strange" actually worked well. YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE...

About 4 pm I met one on one with her. In brief. Octavia is warm, funny, brilliant, a great listener and wise. She is also wonderfully human. Not only do I no longer worship her (stupidly) I really respect and admire her as a human being and a writer. She recommended a few books that might appeal -- and actually took a recommendation from me (!Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet) -- and the most valuable thing:
She took me seriously.

WOW. It sounds so silly. Most of you have taken me seriously forever (of which I am enormously grateful) and will continue to do so in spite of my ceaseless babbling, hopefully. There's nothing like sitting next to the writer you always wanted to be like and having her ask you why you're not submitting yet (?!?!) I feel giggly and serious and studious and humbled and proud all at once. We chatted a bit about shyness and insecurity and then my half hour was over.
It was dreamlike. I wrote down everything I could remember right away, I have a few quotes that will be printed on cards above my writing space as long as I live and will tide me through rejection letters for years to come.

I am so filled with gratitude right now - to Octavia, to my fellows and to myself for being gutsy enough to attempt my own personal impossible, right out of the gate.

I can't WAIT to get to my next piece. What a way to start the workshop. Even if I fall on my face on every story that follows Strange, I will consider this a success. This workshop just made itself worth the cost, the time away from home, the disruption from life, computer drama, lack of sleep and the constant "information overload" headache I've had for the last three days all in one fell swoop.

And the bestest part that makes me feel like a little kid again-- when it was all done, and I was utterly exhausted and starving and braindead -- dinner was waiting. Joani the Magnificent, Amazing, Incredible House Mom Extraordinare had worked up salmon, rice, veggies, salad and home baked snickerdoodles. It smelled so good I could have cried. I did I think, after almost serving myself a pound of fish. We talked about dogs (I miss Echo SO MUCH!) and she even told me about some places to go paddling. I love this woman.

DAMN these sorority girls are fucking lucky -- I hope they appreciate it. I know I sure do.

Between the incredible mansionlike house (we are never under each others keyboards) with ideal cushy places to write and great food -- correction, GREAT FOOD --I know this Clarion has to be the most spoiled class EVER. Now if I could just get more than 5 hours of sleep...