In case you were wondering...
Alright. I am remiss. You win. I fully intended to post after Horseboy crit. Then after my conference with The Gordon. Then after visit from mystery guest Eileen Gunn. Then before the party. Then after the party. Then week 5 reflections today after meandering down to the Farmer's Market.
Shit, Flitch...Its 11 and I ain't blogged a damn thing. Like that DMB song goes..."So much to say, so much to say so much to say."
In an effort to preserve some sanity and get a decent nights sleep (which I am insisting on at this point) I'm gonna divvy this up a bit. So, welcome to Part 1: Where I emerge from week 5 with The Gordon and Horseboy Crit with both arms intact.
YES! I STILL HAVE MY ARMS! (actually no arms -- writing or otherwise -- were severed in the course of this week. Although one fictional character did chop off her own foot, but that, as they say is another story entirely)
In case some of us had this fairy tale fantasy of The Gordon leaping up from the crit table with one of our manuscripts in hand shouting, "YES! YES YES! THIS TOOOTALLY WORKS FOR ME. I WILL PUBLISH IT AS IS, AS WELL AS ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN INCLUDING YOUR GROCERY LISTS!" wake up kids, its time to get schooled. It didn't happen. An even greater factor adding to the fear and anxiety emanating from the house this week was the "ohmygodihavetosubmitafirstdraftwrittenonnosleeptoTHEGORDON...iamsoscrewed...."
That said, what we all got was a (sometimes bitter) dose of reality about publishing and industry just at the moment when we needed it...(Cat has done a WAY better analysis of this theory than my battered grey matter could even attempt, so I will direct you to her blog for some damn fine thoughts on the subject -- Ditto Cat on the Writers vs Editors... Yeah, what she said! That's the ticket) Which all leads me to my ugly baby of the week -- the grammatically mangled, triple diaper bottomed ending but otherwise well meaning ode to a boy, a horse and a liar: The Horseboy.
(one Gordon suggestion: I need to work on my titles...But that's getting ahead of myself)
Class responded uber well, to the point that I often had the eerie feeling they were privy to my entire agonizing process when they started suggesting that what I needed to add was EXACTLY THE STUFF I HAD SECOND GUESSED MY JUDGMENT ON AND TAKEN OUT AT THREE AM. It was simultaneously the most thrilling and frustrating thing I've ever experiences.
Frustrating aspects: AGGHHHHEEE WHY DO I SECOND GUESS MY INSTINCTS WHEN I KNOW I'M FUCKING RIGHT ?!?!?!
I STILL HAVE MY HAND, in fact. If I keep this up, I may actually get paid for that which it spews. One day, in a land far far away.
Damn I have not been so pleased in some time. Yes I was a nervous wreck this week (for oh so many reasons) and acted like a total spaz multiple times (in public, gasp!) as a result. However something happened for me internally this week that I will probably be sorting out for some time. Can't say it was totally The Gordon (though the one on one conversation we had didn't hurt) cause by the time I turned in Horseboy I was feeling resolute about it and overall pleased with the first draft of what I was trying to accomplish.
On some level I feel like I just got my internal north setting -- after watching the needle spin and spin and jerk around for an ungodly amount of time. With all the "normal" Clarion stuff and the Real World stuff crashing down at once I think maybe I was just raw and laid open enough to have to rely on my own voice, style and intuition in ways that I have thus far been able to avoid (to my detriment)
oh yeah, my editorial red line of death a la Gordon: page 4. Right before the spot where I would have started the story if I had just been paying attention to that little needle pointing north. Which also happens to be the place where the story apparently got interesting for him. HA!
Other suggestions from Gordon: COME UP WITH SOME DECENT TITLES [DAMNIT!]
Titles so far:
Swanwick comes tomorrow. Rumor has it he will make us cry, energize us, perform strange magics and/or make us run screaming from the house. Anyway you slice it, I'm already grateful to the man for offering us the opportunity to do a revision of a clarion story. Frankly, I'm damn near tapped out for new stuff. Horseboy was my last glorious Clarion explosion. Whatever else he brings to the table, I'm thankful for that.
And hey, big girls DO cry and that's okay too.
Shit, Flitch...Its 11 and I ain't blogged a damn thing. Like that DMB song goes..."So much to say, so much to say so much to say."
In an effort to preserve some sanity and get a decent nights sleep (which I am insisting on at this point) I'm gonna divvy this up a bit. So, welcome to Part 1: Where I emerge from week 5 with The Gordon and Horseboy Crit with both arms intact.
YES! I STILL HAVE MY ARMS! (actually no arms -- writing or otherwise -- were severed in the course of this week. Although one fictional character did chop off her own foot, but that, as they say is another story entirely)
In case some of us had this fairy tale fantasy of The Gordon leaping up from the crit table with one of our manuscripts in hand shouting, "YES! YES YES! THIS TOOOTALLY WORKS FOR ME. I WILL PUBLISH IT AS IS, AS WELL AS ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN INCLUDING YOUR GROCERY LISTS!" wake up kids, its time to get schooled. It didn't happen. An even greater factor adding to the fear and anxiety emanating from the house this week was the "ohmygodihavetosubmitafirstdraftwrittenonnosleeptoTHEGORDON...iamsoscrewed...."
That said, what we all got was a (sometimes bitter) dose of reality about publishing and industry just at the moment when we needed it...(Cat has done a WAY better analysis of this theory than my battered grey matter could even attempt, so I will direct you to her blog for some damn fine thoughts on the subject -- Ditto Cat on the Writers vs Editors... Yeah, what she said! That's the ticket) Which all leads me to my ugly baby of the week -- the grammatically mangled, triple diaper bottomed ending but otherwise well meaning ode to a boy, a horse and a liar: The Horseboy.
(one Gordon suggestion: I need to work on my titles...But that's getting ahead of myself)
Class responded uber well, to the point that I often had the eerie feeling they were privy to my entire agonizing process when they started suggesting that what I needed to add was EXACTLY THE STUFF I HAD SECOND GUESSED MY JUDGMENT ON AND TAKEN OUT AT THREE AM. It was simultaneously the most thrilling and frustrating thing I've ever experiences.
Frustrating aspects: AGGHHHHEEE WHY DO I SECOND GUESS MY INSTINCTS WHEN I KNOW I'M FUCKING RIGHT ?!?!?!
- taking out all the horse stuff for fear it was too sentimental, smarmy or high when it was really integral to the plot and the bitter reversal that closes the deal
- pulling punches with the liar
- moving my initial starting point to page FOUR and creating what The Gordon referred to as an opening with the effect of the writer clearing her throat.
- I will no longer refer to my penchance for writing horses into stories as a "weakness" or a "comfort zone." Rather, now have a new TOTEM. Sweet. I will learn to use element when appropriate to the best of my storytelling ability.
- I will no longer fear that my take on fantasy will inevitably be bogged down in medieval Europe/post Tolkein Fantasy-land. I will no longer be afraid of world building I CAN do something new!
- I will start where the voices tell me to start.
- I will hug myself everytime I feel like I am retarded for not being able to tell an entire story in under 5000 words. Some of us are just novelists by nature. Not that we can't learn both, but it helps to know where you're coming from.
- I will not chide myself for buying well illustrated children's books. It suddenly hit me that one of the reasons why one my strengths is descriptions. I'm a fucking photog -- I'm a picture PERSON. (insert big valley girl Duh-uh!)
I STILL HAVE MY HAND, in fact. If I keep this up, I may actually get paid for that which it spews. One day, in a land far far away.
Damn I have not been so pleased in some time. Yes I was a nervous wreck this week (for oh so many reasons) and acted like a total spaz multiple times (in public, gasp!) as a result. However something happened for me internally this week that I will probably be sorting out for some time. Can't say it was totally The Gordon (though the one on one conversation we had didn't hurt) cause by the time I turned in Horseboy I was feeling resolute about it and overall pleased with the first draft of what I was trying to accomplish.
On some level I feel like I just got my internal north setting -- after watching the needle spin and spin and jerk around for an ungodly amount of time. With all the "normal" Clarion stuff and the Real World stuff crashing down at once I think maybe I was just raw and laid open enough to have to rely on my own voice, style and intuition in ways that I have thus far been able to avoid (to my detriment)
oh yeah, my editorial red line of death a la Gordon: page 4. Right before the spot where I would have started the story if I had just been paying attention to that little needle pointing north. Which also happens to be the place where the story apparently got interesting for him. HA!
Other suggestions from Gordon: COME UP WITH SOME DECENT TITLES [DAMNIT!]
Titles so far:
- Small Strange Town
- The Prince
- A Matter of Life and Death
- The Horseboy
Swanwick comes tomorrow. Rumor has it he will make us cry, energize us, perform strange magics and/or make us run screaming from the house. Anyway you slice it, I'm already grateful to the man for offering us the opportunity to do a revision of a clarion story. Frankly, I'm damn near tapped out for new stuff. Horseboy was my last glorious Clarion explosion. Whatever else he brings to the table, I'm thankful for that.
And hey, big girls DO cry and that's okay too.
posted by Eddie at 11:12 PM
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