Clarion Fact and Fiction (from my not so humble Clarion West Class of 2005 perspective)

Fact: Clarion West does prep writers for professional careers. Even those of us coming to enrich our “art” publication or no learn a few things about the business end of the stick. Sure some of the reality stuff sucks and hearing about the “Editorial Red Line” made some of us nauseous (or is that nauseated) but we persevered. And we learned that perseverance is the key to success, screw talent and inspiration…

Fiction: CW is drama central. I heard the stories about writer’s workshops. Apparently we were a pretty “tame” class (no addicts, no affairs, no brawling, scapegoats or public eviscerating) but I think that’s a compliment. I didn’t come to Clarion West for a soap opera – and I’m pretty damn pleased that some of the biggest static in our class came out of gender roles of characters in stories. To me that says something about our overall class and professionalism. Go team go. (Insert self congratulatory back patting here)

Faction (yes that is a new word in this application, I made it up myself): So before I came to Clarion West I read a website that claimed that Clarionites form this elite clique that thumbs its noses at “non” Clarionites. The truth of the matter is this – we went though an intense experience that none of us will forget anytime soon. We have “in jokes,” stories that sound weird to anyone who wasn’t there, cool t-shirts, secret decoder rings – and a handshake. I’m just kidding about the handshake thing… but there is something to going through an intense situation with a group of people. Its like surviving a plane crash, going through boot camp – or, gasp, pledging to a sorority (heheheeee!) We will probably squeal and/or hug each other on sight, and cluster when we meet at cons for some catching up. Except you Stephen, I don’t think you have a squeal in your entire body, eh? But if you smile and wear that killer WTF tee shirt, I’ll know you a mile away. Hi to your sweetie – I know she’s glad to have you home!

But I can guarantee you that I will neither thumb my nose, nor criticize anyone who hasn’t gone or chooses not to attend Clarion West. It may not be for everyone, and you certainly don’t NEED to go to get published. It doesn’t make any editor more likely to publish you. It doesn’t even guarantee you a ticket out of the slush pile. People come to Clarion West for lots of reasons, the least of which is to feel superior to non-Clarion writers. I for one am happy to talk about the experience to people who are considering the possibility of attending – especially those that think they aren’t good enough or can’t handle the load. Hey if they took me and I survived, you can too!

I’ll even show you my secret decoder ring. Pinkie swear.